daily yarns 'n more

four days

four long days...a journal of my thoughts and feelings for four days.

As most of you know who have read my blog from the beginning know I believe strongly in a woman having a mammogram.  Last week I had a scare and every day for 4 days I put my thoughts and feelings down. 

The week before I had my annual routine mammogram and waiting for the results I had a funny feeling that something was wrong.  I usually get the results the very next day...but four days later a call came....

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Monday 7/13/09 Day 1

I got a call today from the hospital that I needed to come back for some more testing.  Meaning a diagnostic mammogram and possibly an ultrasound of the bre*st.  Something showed up that wasn't there last time.  Having worked in the mammo office for 3 years as a unit secretary, I have somewhat of an understanding of what all that entails.

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Tuesday 7/14/09 Day 2

I wish I had made an appointment for earlier in the week.  This waiting game stinks.  I lied awake last night wondering all kinds of things.  I should know better.  I've seen women go through the same thing I'm going through many times.  But hey, I'm scared, just like they were scared.

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Wednesday 7/15/09 Day 3

it's been two days since i got the call

i can hardly stand it

my heart is pounding all the time

the tears come sometimes and I can't hold them back

tomorrow is the day I find out if I have bre*st cancer

what an ugly word that is...

cancer

did you ever think a word could be so ugly

?

i'm scared

i'm not really angry...

yet

my husband has been wonderful

i worry about him

he worries about me

the kids don't know yet

i don't want to worry them

it's so hard to hold this in

my sister knows

she has had a scare like this before

she's fine

and

i

know

i

will

be

too

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Thursday 7/16/09 Day 4

Today's the day I find out what is going on.  At 1:30 p.m. I have my appointment.  My heart is beating and I have a huge lump in my throat.  The waiting is almost over.  Soon I will know if I can breathe a sigh of relief or take a deep breath and begin a new journey. 

I've been praying.  That's all I can do other than wait.  But I'm not begging or pleading.  All I ask for is strength to handle whatever comes my way.  Everything is in God's hands and I just have to see what his plan for me is.  I feel at peace right now, maybe that's why I don't feel any anger.  I'm a bit scared, I'll admit.  Anyone would be who is about to embark on a journey that they have never been on.

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3:26 P.M.

the news is good

i can breathe a sigh of relief

i can't stop smiling

looks like nothing

they want to check it in 6 months

i saw this on a car bumper as we were heading to the hospital

early detection saves lives

the winner is...

Donna is the winner.

You get this apron and a couple of odds and ends that I have selected for you, and those proceeds go towards the Bre*st Cancer Research Foundation and the Y-ME National Bre*st Cancer Organization.  I will get it to you. 

Congratulations on your winning.

I hope that you enjoy your gifts, and thanks for participating.

the drawing has come to a close...

The Bre*st Cancer Awareness drawing has come to a close.  It was fun and I hope that you all got something from my daily myths.

Now to answer some questions.

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Does a question count as a comment? What age should women have their first breast exam?

Posted by: Elaine

Yes, a question counts.  Around age 40 unless you are having problems or a family history, being mother or sister had bre*st cancer before 40.

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Having a mammogram isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Posted by: Donna K

No Donna, they are just uncomfortable.

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I have been lurking for some time. I never met you. Found your blog through Yvonne whom I indulge with every December. I did know the answer to your RM question. Thought I would finally add a little here. One book I enjoyed about Breast Cancer is: Gilda Radner - It's always something. She brings all the emotions (happy, sad, humorous, angry) to this book. I have been enjoying all your thoughts and pictures.

Julie H

Posted by: Julie H.

I am glad you came out of hiding and I am glad you stop by. You should have answered the question you would have gotten the apron.  I have to check out the book you recommended.

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I love October! Both because it's fall and because it's Breast Cancer awareness month. Although, I'm not very good about bringing attention to it, it's something that's close to home for me (and so many of us). {My Grandma H. had it.}

Posted by: Junkyard Jennifer

I saw some sad and happy cases when I worked at the hospital.  I saw what early detection can do.

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I love hospital food too!!! Whats wrong with us?? haha... Particularly when I was in the hospital when my children were born, I could not wait to sit down and have it all.....it was so nice they had a meat, potato or rice, vegetable, dessert, salad, a coke, and a cup of coffee or tea...wow! oh wait and soup and a dinner roll......
gosh am I hungry now!
And I loved your pictures of your trip (Route 66) I plan to do the same trip and stop in Joyces shop, you guys looked like you had a great time!

Kelly C.

Posted by: kelly

I am getting hungry too, and I am glad that I am not the only one who loves hospital food, I thought I was the only one who did.  Oh you have to take that trip it is wonderful, and her shop is awesome.

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Judy,

This is great that you're doing this to raise awareness. I see you're reading At Home in Mitford--I just finished it a couple days ago!

Carrie A.

Posted by: Carrie

I am almost done (finally) with At Home in Mitford.  I have 2 books going at once, I've never done that before.

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This is a great cause to support!

Posted by: sue

I am glad that you participated.

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Breast cancer hits home for us..........both Grandma's had it. Thank goodness to today's technology it can be so much more curable now a days. Salutes & prayers to all the women out there with it, may they always have great courage to fight it and survive!!!!!!!! We will always be behind them for support.

Posted by: KJS

If you think about it, almost everyone is touched by someone who has or had bre*st cancer.  The survival rate is much higher than it was in years past.

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I'm thinking I'm not the only one disappointed on missing out on the beautiful apron you tried to give away awhile back. This is for a shot at what you are giving away this time!
Anne H.

Posted by: Anne H.

If you win I hope you won't be too disappointed with it.

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I like checking in to see what you and your family are up to. It's always something interesting! I like the recipes too. I am getting closer to looking into making my own bread, as I need to be concerned about diabetes too.

Colleen F

Posted by: Colleen

I am glad you come by, that is what it is meant for, family and friends to check out how life is going over here, and I am glad that you enjoy the recipes.

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Don't know if you had the drawing yet.
I finally found a doctor for myself in this area ~ it was tough ~ and it took me a couple of days. I've had the same ob/gyn for 25 years.

Posted by: yvonne

Nope you had plenty of time to enter.  I am glad you did. I just changed doctors too, but I didn't move.  I just wasn't happy with the one I had.  I love like the one I have now. (That didn't sound too good)

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I'm assuming you can't be nursing to get a mammogram, am I right?

I had quit for a week, but I had a weak moment last night. heh.

And don't pick me, I'd feel guilty having gotten such a beautiful apron already - I just had to add my name to the comments :)

thanks again!!!!

Posted by: sharyn (torm)

I answered this in an e-mail to Sharyn, and I'll answer it now too.  It is better to wait until the baby is weaned, but a mammogram can be done if necessary.  The mother just needs to pump right before the mammo to eliminate some of the denseness.  Your name goes into the bowl too.

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This is my first comment on any blog.

Posted by: Aleena T.

Oh I am so glad you did.

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I meant to enter this earlier and forgot all about it! What a fun idea.
Have a good night.

Posted by: Kathryn

Hi Kathryn, I am glad you stopped by and entered.

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Hi! I don't even know if you know who I am, but I have a blog link on Jennifer's. I'm a Yooper and I am Elaine's age...I don't know if she remembers me at all though! :) Anyway, just thought I'd post. I love your blog! It is organized so neatly...is it easier on typepad?
Just thought I'd drop a hello! :)

Posted by: JoLynn

Again JoLynn, I am happy you popped on over.  I do love Typepad, I love what it has to offer.

I will post the winner and what they won later today, so check back.

bre*st cancer myth...

Myth 10 A mammogram is not a cure for bre*st cancer. Fact A mammogram can detect bre*st cancer when it's very small. Remember if detected early bre*st cancer can be treated with success.

bre*st cancer myth...

Myth 9

The size of my bre*st changes my risk for getting bre*st cancer.

Fact

Whether large or small, the size of a woman's bre*sts does not change her risk for getting bre*st cancer.

bre*st cancer myth...

Myth 8

If a mammogram finds something it's too late to do anything.

Fact

When bre*st cancer is found early your chances of survival are 96%! This means that 96 out of 100 women survive for 5 or more years! There are many options for treatment when bre*st cancer is found early.

bre*st cancer myth...

Myth 7

I've already had a mammogram and it didn't show any cancer, so I don't need another one.

Fact

Once is not enough! Every woman starting at age 40 should start having a mammogram every year. Bre*st cancer usually grows slowly so you need to go every year to catch it when it's small.

bre*st cancer myth...

Myth 6

A mammogram gives off a lot of radiation.

Fact

Since a mammogram is an x-ray it uses radiation to take a picture. The amount of radiation is very small compared to the benefits of detecting bre*st cancer early.

bre*st cancer myth...

Myth 5

Finding a lump in your bre*st means you have bre*st cancer.

Fact

8 out of 10 lumps are not cancer! If you discover a lump or any changes in your bre*st go see your doctor right away

bre*st cancer myth...

Myth 4

Having a mammogram is really painful.

Fact

A mammogram is a little uncomfortable because your bre*st is put between two plastic plates and flattened. Mammograms take only a few seconds so you're not uncomfortable for long.

sourse:dhs.ca.gov